Defining Your Personal Core Values
I have long said that I am ruthless with my circles. By that, I mean that I am very thoughtful about who I let close to me. I firmly believe that the people we surround ourselves with impact everything from our personal happiness to our financial success, and so I make sure that the people in my inner circle lift me up rather than hold me down. For a long time, I curated my circles based on my gut. If I had a good feeling about someone, I kept them around. If I suspected that they were opportunistic, lazy, or entitled, I distanced myself. Lately, I have been reflecting on where that gut instinct comes from and I realized that it all boils down to my personal core values.
My personal core values are simple, but they are absolutely non-negotiable. I see them as a standard that everyone I let into my life must meet, and they are as follows:
Leave every situation in a better state than you found it in.
Trust yourself to figure it out.
Always speak honestly.
I approach every situation in life through the lens of these values. I always seek to create value in other people’s lives through the businesses I start, the philanthropy I engage in, and the way I interact with people on a day-to-day basis. I also regularly bet on myself to take the leap and achieve success because if I don’t believe in myself, no one else will either. Lastly, I always speak honestly. Honesty is the only way to create genuine progress. If something is not working, either personally or in business, it needs to be identified and addressed not swept under the rug.
I actively look for people who demonstrate that they value these things as highly as I do. If I am considering a partnership on a business venture, and I realize that the person I am considering takes advantage of situations, deflects accountability, and obscures or denies the truth of a situation, I avoid that partnership. In contrast, if I find someone who is trying to make the world a better place, is confident in their own abilities, and doesn’t bullshit me, I keep that person around.
Feel free to borrow and build on my core values - they have served me well - but I highly encourage you to partake in some introspection on what truly defines and motivates you. Everyone’s philosophy on living is different. In order to get to the root of what makes you tick, ask yourself the following questions:
When do you feel the most pride? Personally, I am most proud when I can create value for other people. When my actions benefit someone else, I feel a strong sense of satisfaction.
What are you most afraid of? Is it incompetency? Rejection? Insignificance? Once you know what your biggest fear is, you can face it head-on.
What is the most meaningful relationship in your life and what makes it meaningful? I have been fortunate enough to maintain several long-term personal relationships throughout my life, and I attribute that to how open I am with the people I care about.
Look for aspects of your personality that apply to every area of your life. If you discover that you are self-sabotaging, then begin actively working to change it. If you discover that your mindset benefits you, then lean into that. It is simple, yet difficult. But once you have identified and named your personal core values, it becomes that much easier to find and hang on to the right kind of people.