Why The People Around You Matter
Have you ever thrown a pebble into a lake and watched the ripples expand? The pebble you begin with can be tiny, but eventually, the ripples will amplify to reach every corner of the standing water. That is how I look at the relationships I have enjoyed throughout my life. The relationships you maintain will ripple into every corner of your life. They will affect your health, your happiness, your decision-making, and your career. I have spoken about it before in my piece on how the people you chose to spend time within high school can be used as a predictor of success, but the older I get the more I find that this principle remains true well into adulthood.
If I have come to understand anything about the human condition it is that the relationships you maintain will impact you more than anything else.
Once I discovered this, I made it a point to surround myself with people who impact me positively. I believe that exposure leads to normalization, and so by exposing myself to highly motivated, healthy, and ambitious people, their practices and habits become normalized within my own psyche. In contrast, if I were to surround myself with people who went out and partied every night, Wednesday morning hangovers would eventually be normal within my world. Habits start slowly yet can grow into uncontrollable behaviors. Maybe you tell yourself that participating in the bad or less-than-healthy behavior around you is not who you really are…but the more time you spend in that environment, the more that type of behavior and decision-making becomes a part of you. One night out drinking turns into every night, and eventually, you are emulating the people you surround yourself within a way you maybe didn’t plan for or intend.
That is why I actively choose to surround myself with a different crowd. My decisions will not work well for everyone, but generally speaking, I prefer to be around clean-living people. People who workout daily, are ambitious at work, and who prioritize their own health and families. When I am around people like that, I am less likely to skip the gym or spend a wild night our partying and away from my family. I have a lot of respect for the people around me and for how they choose to live their lives. I see the decisions my friends and colleagues make and unconsciously, I begin to live a similar life.
I encourage everyone to do a mental audit on the people you spend the most time with. Who they are will determine who you are far more than test scores, IQ, EQ, or anything else. Ask yourself what their behaviors are, what they want, what is important to them, and how they go about getting it. Make sure that you like the answers because you will inevitably take on their choices and characteristics.
If you like and respect the people around you, you will like and respect yourself. It is as simple and challenging as that.