Zoo Lion vs. Jungle Lion

I have a gauge for knowing when I’m in a good conversation, and it is the impulse to take out my phone and start frantically taking notes on the things that are being said. They don’t happen often, but I found myself in one of those conversations not too long ago. The entire experience was surreal. Twas the night before my birthday (and dinner actually stretched into my birthday), and I found myself seated next to Jacqui Ainsley (Guy Ritchie’s wife) at an intimate dinner outside London. The topic of parenting came up, specifically parenting my daughter who was going through a difficult teenage period.Effortlessly, Jacqui filled up a page of absolutely brilliant notes and advice I still religiously read to this day. But as the conversation turned, she advised me to ask Guy the following day about Jungle Lions VS. Zoo Lions.   

So I woke up early the next morning in a daze, slightly hung over (okay, more than slightly), jet lagged beyond belief, staggering to breakfast.  Guy comes in with the energy of a charging bull and I was definitely in no shape to ask him such a question. Thankfully, he sat next to me at lunch following the morning’s physically exerting activities. I don’t know if it was the exercise, the insanely amazing spread being cooked in the English country-side or the bottles of 2009 Chateau Margaux heavily flowing but the conversation and smart parenting advice picked up seamlessly.  Are you a Zoo Lion or a Jungle Lion?  

On the surface these two metaphorical animals may not seem that different. In fact, they are the same animal in different environments. But that environment is everything.  Zoo lions are safe. They have people taking care of them, and they never have to experience true discomfort. Their needs are being met - but their view never changes. Every day, they wake up on the same day. Their world has boundaries. It is limiting. On the flip side, jungle lions are masters of their domain. They are at the top of the food chain and they aren’t penned in by anything. They have to hunt, kill, and rely on themselves. It is scary. Sometimes they go hungry, but there is no one telling them what to do. Every day they wake up to a different day. 

Jacqui and Guy pose this question to their children to spur introspection. This question forces you to assess who you are and what you want out of life. Do you want to be cared for, or to explore? Do you want to be passive or active? Do you shy away from discomfort, or do you embrace it? 

I asked my son this question and he immediately said that he would prefer to be a zoo lion. As a self-identified jungle lion, it was a little tough to hear. But upon reflection I realize that his view is largely a reflection of his age. He is still young, 11 years old. I cannot imagine a world in which he doesn't live with mom and dad. Right now, we are his zoo keepers. We kept him safe and cared for but as I explained in detail to each lion, he quickly changed what he wanted to be.  Today he routinely identifies people as Zoo Lions or Jungle Lions.  He’s a quick study and so rewarding to see that he has such strong opinions now.  As a parent, I knew it was my job to show him another option. To me, life isn’t fun if I’m not in the jungle. Jungle lions are leaders. They proactively push new boundaries. They are smart and nimble, and they are completely responsible for their own success and failures. Everyone has the potential to be a jungle lion. They just have to realize there is something beyond the walls of their exhibit. 

We are all zoo lions until we are tested. So if you have never looked beyond the bounds of your world - if you have never questioned your path in life - let this be your sign. Push a boundary. See what is out there. It will not be easy, but what you may find is that it can be so thrilling that you will never want to go back. 

Trust me, I’ve been making my way through the jungle for decades. It’s very scary at times, it’s not easy, romantic or sexy, but the views and the experiences are worth the pain.