Within the past ten or so years, our society has paid increasing attention to mental health. Challenges and disorders that were once stigmatized are now discussed freely - and people are more likely than ever before to seek support and professional help. 

I have a gauge for knowing when I’m in a good conversation, and it is the impulse to take out my phone and start frantically taking notes on the things that are being said. They don’t happen often, but I found myself in one of those conversations not too long ago. The entire experience was surreal. Twas the night before my birthday (and dinner actually stretched into my birthday), and I found myself seated next to Jacqui Ainsley (Guy Ritchie’s wife) at an intimate dinner outside London. The topic of parenting came up, specifically parenting my daughter who was going through a difficult teenage period. Effortlessly, Jacqui filled up a page of absolutely brilliant notes and advice I still religiously read to this day. But as the conversation turned, she advised me to ask Guy the following day about Jungle Lions VS. Zoo Lions.  

I came across an interesting concept the other day - the concept of “millennial gray” and the overall homogenization of interior design. In case you are unfamiliar, “millennial gray” is a light, neutral gray that skyrocketed in popularity about 10 years ago when millennials started to purchase and rent their own places. There are many theories behind the rise of millennial gray. Some claim that it is a natural pendulum swing away from Tuscan-inspired designs that were popular in the 90s and 00s. Others blame mass-production furniture retailers like Ikea and Target that capitalize on mass appeal. Others still blame rental culture. If you are limited in terms of living space modifications due to the fact that you are renting rather than purchasing, it is safer to stick with an adaptable neutral palette. But regardless of which millennial gray theory you subscribe to, you cannot deny that everything, everywhere is starting to look the same. 

I recently wrote about a talk I heard from Jamie Dimon in which he said he isn’t overly concerned with our domestic economy. 

In just a few short weeks, my personal opinion on that has shifted. 

I fear that things are going to get very bumpy, very shortly. 

I recently had the opportunity to attend a dinner where Jamie Dimon, JP Morgan Chase CEO, gave a talk about the future of our nation through the lens of both the domestic and global economy. His insights were eye-opening, to say the least. Dimon made it clear that we are living through a period of significant change, and that victory will not be won via war, but rather through resources. 

You won’t. 

I may as well title this post “How it feels when you reach Nirvana” - because actually getting everything you want is as unlikely as achieving the cessation of all desires (Buddhist monks excepted, of course.)

Creating A Game Plan
You cannot realistically accomplish everything that you want to in this life. 

For most of us, there simply are not enough hours in the day to create a powerful career, foster strong relationships with our partners and families, explore our creative outlets, maintain our dream physiques, and live a life of infamy.

What do you need in life?

It sounds like an existential question, but I actually mean it literally. What do you need right now in order to live?

Everyday I hear people speak hyperbolically. “I need my apple watch to track my workout.” Or “I need some time off in order to relax.” Or even, “I need a private office since I take so many calls.”

But are those truly needs? Or are they just wants?

I would expect that you answered “succeed.” After all, 99%+ of all people in society get up each day in pursuit of something. We are all looking to achieve something every day, and more often looking to achieve multiple things at once. The desire to succeed is innate in our DNA, and a core trait in our human nature which has put us at the top of the evolutionary chart. Whether spoken or unspoken, nearly everyone walking the earth is working towards something on a daily basis. For thousands of years, society has applauded and idealized those who succeed the most. Right or wrong, society has also always clearly defined what it deems both success and failure. From a very early age, we are all encouraged to succeed. Domestically, children quickly are indoctrinated into this culture in grade school, extracurricular activities and innocent games. The notion that success is very important is ingrained in us even before our first memories are cemented.

With fall semester in full swing for students across the nation, I want to take a moment to remind everyone that while earning a degree is important, education does not end with graduation. Every successful business leader I know is constantly looking for ways to up their game. They read books, attend conferences, listen to podcasts, and almost never utter the phrase Well that is how we have always done it so there is no need to change. If you want to stay ahead of the curve, you have to put in work that most people are unwilling to do. You have to continue your education.

If you want to be successful in life, it is going to take hard work. A rewarding career, a fulfilling romantic relationship, raising children…it all takes commitment and dedication. It changed my life when I realized that I would have to fight for the things in life that are worth having. From that point forward, I shifted my mind set. I went from doing everything I can to avoid hard work to leaning in and expecting a challenge around every corner. In my mind hard work is the rule, not the exception.

Last year I sold a start-up company that I founded and self-funded for more than a billion dollars. It was a tremendous success and something that I take immense pride in. That sale was the culmination of years of dedicated research combined with the blood, sweat, and tears that go into starting any new business. I have been founding and selling companies for years, and I learned lessons in every endeavor that directly contributed to this ten-figure sale. An absurd amount of work went into that project. It was absolutely exhausting, and the hard work I put in made success that much sweeter. Since that success, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon - a lot of the people I encounter want to believe that my success was a fluke.

through this growth stage many times before myself, and was familiar with the challenges before her. When I asked if she was enjoying her work, she responded with a very honest, “Not at all.” She went on to explain that she was overwhelmed, doubting a lot of her decisions, and could not yet see a light at the end of the tunnel. She was shocked when I responded with a very enthusiastic, “Good!”

There is a lot that goes into founding and running a business. It is incredibly challenging and tremendously mentally taxing. As a founder I have to think about the marketplace, our product and/or service, our production, employee training, employee satisfaction, the competitive landscape, what a potential exit might look like, and the budget.

It is a lot.

If you have ever read any advice on goal setting, it probably urged you to start small. If your goal is to save money you may have been advised to put away $100 a paycheck. If you are trying to get fit, you may have been motivated by the statement, “some movement is better than no movement.” The idea behind this strategy is logical. Basically, this type of small goal setting focuses on quick and easy wins. The idea is that those wins will motivate you to continue achieving your goals, and that it will eventually snowball until you have a lot of money in the bank or the body that you want.

Right now, everyone thinks they are a financial genius. Everyone I talk to seems to be bragging about their investment prowess. No matter where I look, prices are inflated. The housing market, the art market, and the stock market are all just slightly out of whack, and the result is a whole lot of unearned swagger. Let’s be clear, I am not innocent here. I have fallen victim to the investment climate myself. I recently purchased a few pieces of art that almost immediately jumped in price. For a second or two I was incredibly impressed with myself. I thought that I had uncovered a previously unknown talent for spotting value in artwork. I immediately started looking for up-and-coming artists that I could help shoot to the moon. It was all very thrilling.

As a society, we love the narrative of someone pulling themselves up by their boot straps and clawing their way to the top without assistance. We celebrate people with gritty resolve - people who were told “no” a million times and still persisted. Personally, I think that obsession is due to the fact that we want to believe we are capable of achieving incredible things, so long as we simply believe in ourselves and put in the work. Think Luke Skywalker from Star Wars.

Most people, when asked about how or why they work as hard as they do, can immediately name a goal that they are diligently working towards. Goals motivate us. They provide a finish line for otherwise difficult and frustrating endeavors. When I was first starting out as an entrepreneur, my goal was to simply start and sell a company for profit. I hung everything on that goal. I imagined that once my first deal closed, that I would finally feel satisfaction. I am sad to report that I felt no satisfaction - I didn’t have time to. I was too busy thinking about my next venture.